Today is the first day of the 11th month of 2019. I really hope your 2019 has been every shade of colourful and a beautiful chapter in your journey. Be thankful, be grateful, think of your victories and the lessons you learnt all through the year and then wind down with grace.
Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring are the four seasons in a year. In Nigeria and many parts of Africa, we have the rainy and dry seasons.
According to Wikipedia, a season is a division of the year marked by changes in weather, ecology and amount of daylight.Today’s topic on seasons is not on geography but a brief highlight on appreciating the different phases of our lives and understanding that life happens with marked differences, each with its lessons and blessings.
A lot of people will agree that summer is the best season in the year, it falls under the dry season. Every one is happy to be outdoors, the weather is great, schools are on break, the days are longer. It’s the best time to attend parties, picnics and be merry. On the flip side, we have winter that is extremely cold and a time when everyone world rather be indoors within the comfort of their homes.
Relating it to life, during the course of one’s life journey, we will go through cycles – the good, the bad, the trying. The good times are amazing , the bad and trying times will test your character and your faith. Rather than see the less favourable times as a punishment from God, a good perspective to have is, ” what is this period teaching me”, “what lessons on character should I take away from this experience. During the good times, stay grateful and try to be a source of blessing to the next person. Overall all, remember that better days are ahead.
Lots of Love,
Today’s post will be short and the message clear. It’s one of the messages that we have been driving since the launch of The Big Sister Initiative. Be a person of integrity.
Yes, we live in a time where it is easy to be persuaded by the fine things of life. That should inspire you to work harder, do better and increase your earnings the legitimate way. Never see crime, internet scam, fraud as an easy way out. It never ease and there will always be repercussions, if not “legal” repercussions, you will lose your morals and principles.
It is never really worth it to defraud others for financial enrichment, what should drive you is to need to create wealth and make it sustainable throughout generations, the trusted way to do that is to add values to the lives of others around you and you will see everything come through.
So, when you are ever at a crossroad, remember the principles that guide you and make the best possible decision. Don’t give up on your self.
Have an amazing weekend.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about the journey to success and then we stumbled on the video below which I believe came at the most appropriate time. I’m feeling very inspired by it and I believe that there are there are so many lessons for you to take from it;
-Resilience:Keep trying in the face of repeated failures
-Self Improve: Go back to learn from the lessons of the past
-Do not fear failure but be afraid of regret
-Rejections, “No’s” are inevitable, in-fact, they are compulsory but also necessary. So don’t get distracted by them but learn quickly from them
Sometimes the person you are right now is not the person you need to be when you cross the finish line, so you must walk and pace yourself because you haven’t grown enough to fit the shoes you desire and may stumble terribly if you get into those positions ill-prepared. What should you do? Self-improve, Keep at it and keep the end in sight.
Are you ready to walk the walk? Do you pace yourself as you grow that way you get to the finish line at the exact time you are destined to cross it.
Failures might be painful at the time they happen but don’t be that person in life that looks back in time and is filled with the constant regret of “what if I didn’t give up?”
The past few days in the Nigerian social media space has been extremely telling. A popular photographer outed a popular pastor for sexually defiling her as a child. While several perspectives have been heard on the issue similar to the #metoo campaign, It’s about time we take these conversations and steer them to actual results. It is extremely repulsive that people are being abused by those who should know and do better. It is equally sad that the society through its silencing approach has institutionalised rape. There are no grey areas when it comes to sexual harassment, violence or defilement. Any type of sexual activity without consent is sexual assault. From those who thrive on the power imbalance such as lecturers to their students, employers to their employees, religious leaders to members of their sect, to those who are rape apologists or even silencers, these are unacceptable norms.
Consent should never be assumed or implied. It is not silence or the absence of “no”. It cannot be given if you are impaired by alcohol or drugs, or unconscious It cannot ever be obtained through threats or coercion. It can be withdrawn for at any time. It cannot be given if the perpetrator abuses a position of trust, power or authority. It cannot be given by anyone other than the person participating in the sexual activity (e.g. your parent, brother or sister, girlfriend or boyfriend, spouse, friend etc., cannot consent for you or on your behalf).
Facts about sexual violence
- Rape is about power and control, not sex
- Clothes are not a risk factor. What someone is wearing is never an indication of anything other than their fashion choice.
- That the perpetrator is your friend does not make his/her crime acceptable
- Uninvited touching and/or comments are never acceptable
As parents, it is time to start having these conversations with our kids and stop protecting the perpetrators. We should also teach our children what it means to give consent and what it means when consent is withdrawn. Also, when a child reaches out to you with sensitive information, listen and ask questions, reassure the child- if possible include therapy and counselling and take decisive steps in bringing the perpetrator to book(regardless of your relationship with the perpetrator).It starts with a single individual, the responsibility to effect the change we want in the world cannot be outsourced. We are all responsible.
On the 4th of May 2019, Le Courtois had its inaugural fine dining event and it was a huge success. Le Courtois is an etiquette consulting group run by Bukola Egwenu, the Etiquette Coach. Bukola is one person I know walks the talk. She believes, reflects and is a personification of grace.
The fine dining event was the icing on the cake, as Le Courtois had over a period of time visited the kids at school and had been deeply involved in helping them improve their soft skills. The process is aimed at teaching the kids to be more self aware, sharpen their soft skills and believe that they are not disadvantaged, it also helps change the general poor perception of public school students. This is an amazing start and a commendable journey.
Le Courtois provides etiquette and soft skills services to corporates, parastatals and private individuals and is fully committed to improving the lives of people by tapping into their soft skills and creating self consciousness to do more and be more. Definitely one to look out for. For more information, Follow @le_courtois_ on Instagram.
Great job Bukola
Happy International Women’s Day.
What an exciting, refreshing time it is to be a woman. This year’s theme is Balance for better and it is in support for the growing global push for social and professional equality. The theme is aimed at encouraging gender balance in board rooms and across the spheres of life.
We now live in a time where the contribution of women are now being recognised and the sacrifices made are appreciated and not just seen as the norm. The work is not yet done as we are progressively moving to a time when every woman and girl is treated as an equal in the society and not as an after thought or as an individual to be merely tolerated. A time where a woman puts in the work in equal measure as her counterpart and is rewarded appropriately. Change has come and it is only inevitable.
From all of us at The Big Sister Initiative,
Happy International Women’s Day
For anyone who has diligently followed us via Instagram, twitter, or any of our write ups, you can tell that a recurring theme for us at The Big Sister Initiative is the self-improvement message, the audacity of hope and the reminder that dreams come true. As we wrap up the second month of the year, it is important to reiterate our message that your dreams are valid, your ambitions possible and your optimism not far-fetched.
You are a product of your thoughts, attitude and your beliefs. The circumstances or the setbacks you face can never be a defining factor, only if you empower it to be so. Focus on improving yourself without losing your authenticity and the value you can bring to the world, watch the circle you interact with, celebrate your self and your wins, learn to prioritize. Life is about your personal responsibility. Seek to improve yourself and the world around you.
So what next, If you have not yet written down your goals for the year it is not too late to do so. You have 10 months to create a miracle. Set milestones for yourself and what you want to achieve at the end of each month, quarter and the year and don’t forget to celebrate every time you achieve it. Re-evaluate your value system, constantly evaluate where you place value and if your actions align with your belief system. Rid yourself of selfishness because you will never achieve your potentials until you turn the focus on others. Loose the dead weight, as hard as this sounds, be prepared to say goodbye to friendships or relationships that do not align with your values or run down your esteem and improve friendships that seek to empower who you are and who you can be. Your circle is a reflection of you.
Sometimes, it seems like life is designed to break you, but the true test of who you are on the inside is seen by your reaction to life’s events. Keep striving, keep pushing, see you at the top.
All of us at The Big Sister initiative
*Picture from Google images
2019 has started and is on a roll and it will be an amazingly beautiful year. What plans have you put in place? It could be passing your A levels, graduating from college, getting a summer job, reading 50books at the end of the year, or becoming the Elon Musk of 2019. Whatever the plan is, write it down and begin to work at it.Lots of Love
Lots of Love
Today, the topic is on self-awareness. How well do you know yourself? What do you like, what do you dislike? What are your triggers?
When we meet new people, we take out time to understand them, this helps frame the kind of relationships we have with them. In the same vein, I believe that it is important that occasionally, we take out time to study ourselves too. This way we become more aware of who we are, having a grounded sense of self and then our identity plays a crucial role in our interactions and the value we add to people’s lives. I recently had the opportunity to be a part of a brainstorming session and a question was asked about toxic relationships and toxic friendships and someone asked, “Is it possible that I am toxic person”. My answer? Yes.
Yes, because sometimes we exhibit negative responses to certain situations that have a toxic effect on the recipient of our actions. The word toxic can be described as something harmful or poisonous. In human interaction, having constant exchanges with a toxic person can be bad for your relationship and your mental health. I have come to realize that one can be toxic even with the best of intentions. Our minds sometimes get the most of us and allow us deduce and infer into some situations and cause us to react in ways that can be extremely negative to the next person.
My advise, be kinder- as you grow older, a lot of emotional intelligence will be needed to navigate relationships. Try as much as possible to put yourself in the next person shoes, don’t be so reactionary during discourse. Always keep a positive spirit- Overtime, I have realized that life will throw curveballs at you, try not to internalize the negatives to the point that it begins to affect your outlook on life, rather ask yourself –what is the lesson to be learnt here. You can also take a break from social media- sometimes, information overload makes one cynical, so check yourself. Mind your business; most times when you feel inspired to give a feedback on a situation, ask yourself, is my opinion relevant at this point. Will my response bring healing or cause more pain? Shut down negative thoughts- This requires a lot of self-discipline and don’t forget to apologize to those you have hurt in the process. Do not try to rationalize the extent of the hurt you caused. When a person informs you that your actions have hurt them, apologize. It might not fix the problem, but it lets the other person know that you care a bit about their feelings.
In conclusion, your growth (mental and emotional) is your responsibility. It cannot be outsourced. Learn to fail quickly and constantly seek to self-improve.
Love and Light