Hello Guys,
2019 has started and is on a roll and it will be an amazingly beautiful year. What plans have you put in place? It could be passing your A levels, graduating from college, getting a summer job, reading 50books at the end of the year, or becoming the Elon Musk of 2019. Whatever the plan is, write it down and begin to work at it.Lots of Love
Lots of Love
Today, the topic is on self-awareness. How well do you know yourself? What do you like, what do you dislike? What are your triggers?
When we meet new people, we take out time to understand them, this helps frame the kind of relationships we have with them. In the same vein, I believe that it is important that occasionally, we take out time to study ourselves too. This way we become more aware of who we are, having a grounded sense of self and then our identity plays a crucial role in our interactions and the value we add to people’s lives. I recently had the opportunity to be a part of a brainstorming session and a question was asked about toxic relationships and toxic friendships and someone asked, “Is it possible that I am toxic person”. My answer? Yes.
Yes, because sometimes we exhibit negative responses to certain situations that have a toxic effect on the recipient of our actions. The word toxic can be described as something harmful or poisonous. In human interaction, having constant exchanges with a toxic person can be bad for your relationship and your mental health. I have come to realize that one can be toxic even with the best of intentions. Our minds sometimes get the most of us and allow us deduce and infer into some situations and cause us to react in ways that can be extremely negative to the next person.
My advise, be kinder- as you grow older, a lot of emotional intelligence will be needed to navigate relationships. Try as much as possible to put yourself in the next person shoes, don’t be so reactionary during discourse. Always keep a positive spirit- Overtime, I have realized that life will throw curveballs at you, try not to internalize the negatives to the point that it begins to affect your outlook on life, rather ask yourself –what is the lesson to be learnt here. You can also take a break from social media- sometimes, information overload makes one cynical, so check yourself. Mind your business; most times when you feel inspired to give a feedback on a situation, ask yourself, is my opinion relevant at this point. Will my response bring healing or cause more pain? Shut down negative thoughts- This requires a lot of self-discipline and don’t forget to apologize to those you have hurt in the process. Do not try to rationalize the extent of the hurt you caused. When a person informs you that your actions have hurt them, apologize. It might not fix the problem, but it lets the other person know that you care a bit about their feelings.
In conclusion, your growth (mental and emotional) is your responsibility. It cannot be outsourced. Learn to fail quickly and constantly seek to self-improve.
Love and Light
Nkiru,
Hey Guys,
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Two
Hey guys,
While we are enjoying the summer break, just a friendly reminder to us to dream bigger. Stay persistent about your dreams and keep them alive. 
Walt Disney once said “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them”.
It is not sufficient to have a dream, you have to act on it and take steps to making it a reality. Pursuing one’s dreams definitely is not easy, if it were, everyone would be doing it. There will be days where the world will question the validity of your dreams, days where you will doubt yourself, days where everything will go bad and finally the days where everything will begin to look up. It is important that through it all, you allow yourself go through the process.
At the end of the day there us a lot of joy that comes with watching a concept become a reality and knowing that you sheer grit, willpower and determination made it happen.
Lots of Love
How often do you stay thankful for acts of goodness (and even the seemingly unfair things) that happen in your life? And do you stay grateful on a regular basis?
Over the past few days, I have heard several people complain about one wrong thing or another in their lives. It could be bad grades at school, a disagreement with a dear friend or not having someone to talk to. These are some examples of real life occurrences; however, it is important to emphasize that our attitude about any state or condition in our lives is always within our power to choose. Attitudes are rooted in our own beliefs and are unique across most individuals. They do not form overnight but rather, throughout the course of one’s life journey. Although one’s attitudes are initially nurtured from the environment, we nonetheless always have a choice on what to keep or discard eventually. It is important to develop a positive attitude of gratitude since it will be very difficult to retain a certain kind of integrity where we create a wrong impression of being ungrateful.
So dear girl, how do you stay grateful, you ask?
Have a list: Developing a sense of gratitude might not happen overnight. It is a habit that should be practiced. I personally wanted to learn how to stay thankful, so I deliberately became more mindful of daily activities that happened in my life. The best way I could keep track was by keeping a journal. Every day, I would write down the things I was thankful for. Overtime, I found it easier to count my blessings and to generally have a positive outlook about life.
Express yourself: If you feel grateful, say it! Tell people around you. Don’t bottle up your emotions or how you feel. That way, you inspire yourself and those around you as well.
Watch what you say: Your words are powerful. It is almost impossible to channel yourself to say two contradictory sentences and to believe them wholly. It’s either you believe one and are paying lip service to the other. If you find yourself constantly being critical or negative about events that happen in your life, there will almost be no time for you to reflect on being thankful. Be deliberate about the words you say and make sure you are appreciative of everything that happens around you, even the seeming bad things.
Get creative: Creativity will spur you to being grateful. For instance put little notes of positive messages around the house will help you stay grateful, set reminders on your mobile, tell your friends about the new plan and start an accountability thread. Make it as much fun as you possibly can. Start with people around you- You can stay grateful by celebrating those around you.
Stay Mindful: To develop an attitude of gratitude, you have to be intentional. Don’t take things that happen to you for granted. Appreciate everything. Gratitude doesn’t have to be saved for the “big” things in life. The habit of being grateful starts with appreciating every good thing in life and recognizing that there is nothing too small for you to be thankful for.
And even when the odds seem against you: This becomes a test of character. Personally, 2018 started with me receiving three consecutive bad news that left me reeling in disbelief. I had entered the new year so certain about how the year would play out and next thing, all my plans came crashing. I remember sitting in my car and bawling my eyes out and then it hit me, why not choose to see the unseen benefit. Why not stay grateful to God for protecting you from unseen dangers. I did just that, trust me, it wasn’t the easiest thing to do, but it paid off, because the rest of the year has turned out way better than I imagined.
So, what will you do when it seems like the odds are against you or that no one understands? Stay grateful. Find the reasons to be happy. No matter how minute they may seem.
Help others: Finally, help others. Volunteer. Be a light in another’s life. One sure way to live a thankful life is when you can see your the value you bring in the life of others and you know you are responsible for the smiles on their faces.
Love,
Nkiru
Hey Guys
Hope you enjoyed the mid-term break.
It’s the sixth month of 2018 and we seem to be sprinting through the year. Now is a great time to check the goals you had written down in January. How far have you gone with them? Have you lived up to the set targets or it is still a work in progress?
Whatever the case is, stay persistent and stay consistent. Don’t give up on those goals if you haven’t started at all. Today is a good day to start from the beginning and also a good day to make the necessary adjustment if you have already started. All it takes is a step from you.
If for instance, your goal was to read up six books this year and you haven’t started any at all. Start with one today, the first page of the first book is just the perfect place to start.
Also, try as much as possible to have an accountability partner that way you have someone to subconsciously motivate you.
An important reminder, “You make it happen”.
Keep pushing.
Hey Girls,
It’s the beautiful month of May and we at the Big Sister Initiative are appreciative of the fifth month of the year and the goo
The nugget for today is Strength of Character. How do you behave under pressure? In the face of fear or temptation especially where you know that no one will ever find out? One of the important life lessons I have come to appreciate is that there is never a wrong time to do the right thing.
This does not mean that you are guaranteed to always make the best decisions but the values you hold true, will always guide the actions you take.
Have a beautiful week ahead.
Dear Girl, at one point or another in life, we are faced with pressures. It could be psychological, emotional, personal, tied to your finances or your relationships with people. To be honest, it can be feel quite overwhelming and your safety net might encourage you to lean towards emotions such as fear, disgust, anger or even sadness, however it is important that you do not despair.
What’s on your inside, will always be brought to the surface when you are under pressure. Work on your inside out. Build your inner self to be resilient, kind, thoughtful, patient, build your character and your words. When a teabag is dipped in hot water, the content of the bag spreads through the water, in the same way when you are under stress and pressure , the words you speak and the actions you take will reveal what’s on your inside.
Does this mean you write yourself off where you falter? No, but it means that you are a work in progress and that you should actively strive for self improvement. It is important that we become the best versions of our selves, this will go a long way in self actualization and also in improving the lives of those around us.
As you enjoy your school break, try adopting some positive characters and letting go of some of the “not too nice” attitudes.
Will love to hear from you.
Lots of Love,
Nkiru
Today the world mourns the passing on of the greatest scientists of our time, Stephen Hawkins.
One of my best quotes of his is :
“My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn’t prevent you doing well, and don’t regret the things it interferes with. Don’t be disabled in spirit, as well as physically.”
Absolutely brilliant that he was a fighter in spirit who refused to be beat down by the rare early-onset, slow-progressing form of amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS) that gradually paralysed him over decades. He was diagnosed with the disease at the age of 21 and was given two years to live, however, Hawkings was resilient about life and passed on at the age of 76.
There are a lot of life lessons to learn from Hawkings and some include:
-The quality of life you live is dependent on you and not the circumstances around you.
-Perfection is overrated. Hawkings once said – However difficult life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at, It matters that you don’t just give up.
-In any course/path you opt for, ALWAYS put your best foot forward and never compromise on excellence.
While Hawkings legacy remains, the question now is, What do you want to be remembered for. What impact do you seek to make in the world around you.
Please see below some other quotes of Hawkings that will motivate you to strive for more regardless of what life throws your way.
Have a refreshing Wednesday.
Love,
Nkiru
The theme for 2018’s International Women’s Day celebration is Press for Progress, and we can’t agree more.
The emancipation of women from the shackles of stereotypes that have held them bound is indeed one to be celebrated. Have these shackles been completely destroyed? Definitely not, but women have come a long way in 2018 than where they were in 1918. Yes, women are still faced with pay inequality at the work place, stereotypes and biases that shape how society allows them thrive and even self-limiting actions and beliefs they have come to accept.
Nevertheless, It’s no doubt that women remain a force of change in their societies. Today, Indeed we celebrate, acknowledge and express our love to women across the world. From those at the home front taking steps in shaping their families and communities to those leading protests around the globe and even to those breaking the glass ceilings that were put in place to hold them back. These women have one thing in common: they see themselves in a different way and chose to exercise their power.
We salute you. the future is revolutionary because of your actions.
And to our young ladies that aspire to be women of change in the near future, I will say, “you are the change the world needs. ”
You are powerful
You are sufficient
You are bold
You are light
You are loved
The world needs you
Lots of Love,
From us at TBSI
thebigsisterinitiative.com 