Self Awareness: Toxic?

Today,  the topic is on self-awareness. How well do you know yourself? What do you like, what do you dislike? What are your triggers?

When we meet new people, we take out time to understand them, this helps frame the kind of relationships we have with them. In the same vein, I believe that it is important that occasionally, we take out time to study ourselves too. This way we become more aware of who we are, having a grounded sense of self and then our identity plays a crucial role in our interactions and the value we add to people’s lives. I recently had the opportunity to be a part of a brainstorming session and a question was asked about toxic relationships and toxic friendships and someone asked, “Is it possible that I am toxic person”. My answer? Yes.

Yes, because sometimes we exhibit negative responses to certain situations that have a toxic effect on the recipient of our actions. The word toxic can be described as something harmful or poisonous. In human interaction, having constant exchanges with a toxic person can be bad for your relationship and your mental health. I have come to realize that one can be toxic even with the best of intentions. Our minds sometimes get the most of us and allow us deduce and infer into some situations and cause us to react in ways that can be extremely negative to the next person.

My advise, be kinder- as you grow older, a lot of emotional intelligence will be needed to navigate relationships. Try as much as possible to put yourself in the next person shoes, don’t be so reactionary during discourse. Always keep a positive spirit- Overtime, I have realized that life will throw curveballs at you, try not to internalize the negatives to the point that it begins to affect your outlook on life, rather ask yourself –what is the lesson to be learnt here. You can also take a break from social media- sometimes, information overload makes one cynical, so check yourself. Mind your business; most times when you feel inspired to give a feedback on a situation, ask yourself, is my opinion relevant at this point. Will my response bring healing or cause more pain? Shut down negative thoughts- This requires a lot of self-discipline and don’t forget to apologize to those you have hurt in the process. Do not try to rationalize the extent of the hurt you caused. When a person informs you that your actions have hurt them, apologize. It might not fix the problem, but it lets the other person know that you care a bit about their feelings.

In conclusion, your growth (mental and emotional) is your responsibility. It cannot be outsourced. Learn to fail quickly and constantly seek to self-improve.

Love and Light

Nkiru,