Hey guys, hope you had an eventful Easter celebration and a fun weekend?
Please, who else has noticed the increasing number of posts and advices that seem to have bombarded social media. It seems like everyone with a phone simply picks a random thought and turns it “gems/words of advice”. This brings us to the topic for today, “Counsel”.
Counsel can be gotten from a number of sources – Parents, Mentors, Role Models, Siblings, Friends etc. Infact, I am a big advocate of taking counsel, because I believe that some experiences shouldn’t be dealt with personally, we can learn from other peoples experiences. I also believe Proverb 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, But a wise man is he who listens to counsel. I want to believe that a number of us have that one person or a number of people that can do no wrong in our eyes and we almost yield to their advice blindly without stopping to think it through – If you fall into this category, Yes, it’s not entirely a bad thing, it simply means you have decided to trust without reservations or doubts.
Growing up, I had tons of people around me, especially in secondary school they came in form of ‘School Mothers’ (If you went to a boarding house, you are definitely familiar with this term) I loved every bit of having a senior care for me, get people to fetch my bathing water, extra food and every benefit that comes with it and oh yes I had to pay the price (nothing goes for nothing) and guess what I had to do in return – Keep malice with their enemies, do all their biddings even when my moral values were on the line but trust me, at the time, I couldn’t see beyond my nose so everything seemed right to me as long as my school mother had given her nod of approval.
Getting into the university – I had it worse, they came in form of friends and I had different clusters (The crew ranged from the fashionistas, the party rockers, the relationship advisers, hook-up masters, the library group and the gossip association , this is a short list, trust me) I was always drawn into one of this groups at one point or the other – did it shape my reality and way of life – ABSOLUTELY and you know the intriguing part, I became the master of none. I became so confused about life because the knowledge and almost every thought I had in my head was planted, they weren’t mine, my perspective was crafted, my definition of life meaningless and I was just another naive girl that jumped on a ship amidst confused people to an unknown destination.
Something had to give, I woke up to reality firstly, by defining my relationship with everyone that came my way- both young and old. I stopped seeking approval and validation for my every passing decisions and actions, I started looking out for myself and identifying toxic relationships, relationships with no substantial value became meaningless, stopped looking for friends – I started looking for companions that shared same vision, I started yearning for new energy that can push me and elevate me closer to my goals each day and with every conversation, and most importantly, I developed a better relationship with God. Guess what, my world suddenly changed, my supposed friends started calling me names – arrogant, selfish, ungrateful, etc because ‘The New Me’ was strange to them instead of getting upset about the name calling, I only wished their eyes were open and that they understood my new perspective, until eventually, I was okay with them not understanding the new me.
I started to filter, manage my circle of friends (Young & Old) that I decided to keep, the ones I wasn’t wary of their counsel, the ones that shine light on my path and have made my growth, progress and well-being theirs, the ones that criticise me so that I can strive for heights that are even above them with no iota of jealousy. I simply decided to take on wise, positive counsel and let go of the dodgy,non-consistent advices. I found myself amongst people that help me learn, the ones that teach and remind me to believe in my own magic, My cheerleaders, My advocates – Those are the ones worth keeping around.
Any relationship short of these qualities in my opinion is not worth keeping or brooding over when you lose them – Not everyone you meet on this journey called life can match your energy. Never underestimate the power of the right counsel or circle as there is no limit to your achievements and finding your true SELF.
Do yourself a favour today, be conscious of the counsel you receive.
Lots of Love
Eniola
thebigsisterinitiative.com 