Looking back on my journey to becoming a woman, there are certainly a million and one things I wish I did differently.
I wish I realized at an early stage, how much beauty radiates from within me without necessarily seeking validation from my peers, family members or even society and this is simply because I have come to realize God made all things beautiful in his likeness and most importantly because my beauty isn’t physical.
During my teen years, all I wanted was to be referred to as, was ‘cool’ . I wanted to sit with the cool girls, wear the trendy things (Spaghetti tops, miniskirts, lycras, short knickers , jumpers, paint my face in the weirdest ways), get the attention of the coolest boys especially my crush *wink and yes I was indeed part of the cool club and trust me, at that time I felt like I was on top of the world. My mum’s advices were beginning to fall on deaf ears, my focus had shifted from academic stuff to the ‘cool stuff’, I started missing classes, fellowships, began sneaking to house parties and boom I was a fast-rising cool girl. However, one thing struck – The not so cool girls were loved by the people I resented (Teachers, Principal, cool boys, even some of my cool friends were still struggling for space in their circle, which got me curious.
Dear Young Me, as you grow in life, you will come to realise the things that matter and the things that set you apart are values, attributes, and traits and not the social reputation the world expects you to project or the ‘Cool Stuff’. In confusion – seek clarity, in adversity – persevere and above all – define your value and standards which should not be compromised to keep friends and if you ever feel like you are in a position where you should compromise good traits to keep your friends, then it might be time to make new ones. I can assure you that I barely have a relationship with my “cool gang” from my teenage years now but over the years, I have nurtured and grown incredible friendships with the then “not so cool girls”.
Integrity, consistence and truth will take you so far in life and will attract all things titled good to you and will make you shine like a bright diamond. Yes, there will be doubts, there will be peer pressure, but you have to master the act of self-discipline in order not to be derailed from your vision, goals or aspirations.
You’d rather be cool in an air-conditioned office with a directorate title or even own the business of your dreams in your later years than be cool in your youthful days and live the rest of your life filled with regrets. There is so much life has to offer – The good, The bad & The Ugly! The choice is entirely up to you. Make every day of the rest of your growing life count.
Love always ,