Author: thebigsisterinitiative

We are still on the #LoveLearnLead series and today, we will be talking about Haben Girma.

I first heard about Girma through a friend who felt that she was an inspiring personality to motivate our girls. Before then, I had never heard about her so I kept a pretty open mind expecting to be blown away and the truth is , I was. At the same time, I was humbled. I searched every platform where she had spoken, from Ted X in Baltimore to her appearance on Katie’s show to stalking her tweets just to get a sense of her person. One thing stood out: Girma’s resilience in the face of the odds.  

Born July 29, 1988, Girma grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area where she currently lives.

Her profile tells us that she is an internationally acclaimed inclusion leader who earned recognition as a White House “Champion of Change”, Forbes 30 under 30 leader, and BBC Women of Africa Hero. Also the first Deafblind person to graduate from Harvard Law School, Haben champions equal access to information for people with disabilities. She has been honored by President Barack Obama, President Bill Clinton, and many others.

Girma did not just wake up to these achievements, she set her sights on her goal and was determined to achieve them. Being the first Harvard Law School’s deaf-blind graduate Girma’s academic achievements have catapulted her advocacy career, fighting for the rights of people with disabilities.

What is exciting about Haben’s story is that she is not some far-fetched myth. She is resilience personified and a living example of an individual who has weathered and continues to weather the storms of life. One luxury we don’t have is choosing the challenges that come our way, hence we need to create a process that makes us stronger in the face of the odds. Girma was born with some disadvantages yet, she made her way to Harvard. Today, she is not sitting in a spot bemoaning her fate rather she works, offering accessibility and diversity training, consulting, and professional speaking services. Haben combines her knowledge of law, sociology, and technology to teach clients the benefits of fully accessible products and services. Her insights help to expand our thinking, creating lasting, positive change among people and communities.

She has been featured extensively in media round the world, including the BBC, NBC, Forbes, the Washington Post, MTV, NPR, and many more.

She holds a B.A. in Sociology/Anthropology from Lewis & Clark College and a J.D. from Harvard Law School. In addition to her accessibility work, she enjoys salsa dancing, surfing, and traveling the world.

I like and respect her for many reasons, she is stylish, put together and beautiful. She has made some remarkable achievements in life. She is a Ted x speaker, salsa dancer, world traveler and there is almost no stopping the positivity Haben Girma exudes.

Haben Girma’s extraordinary story highlights her courage and determination in the face of her physical challenges, and she is living proof that disability is certainly no barrier to achieving academic excellence. She had the option of backing down and accepting her fact but has opted to rise above the odds and create the reality she wants.

Motivated enough?

What exactly is stopping you? Create your world

I remember my dad wanting me to become a Doctor as his first child and most especially because his older siblings had all produced doctors in their respective nuclear families.

He insisted that I went for sciences after my JSSCE despite my awful performance in Mathematics and wouldn’t bulge despite my incessant plea because as far as he was concerned I was his OWN and he could make such decisions on my behalf. So I bundled myself off to school and after my 1^st term results I was completely convinced that the sciences were not meant for me. At the end of that term, I pleaded with my teachers to follow me home to convince my parents, especially my dad that I was a better fit in the Arts class. After so much plea, he agreed that I change classes without hesitating to ring it loud in my ears that I was going to lose an entire year of my life having to repeat SS1 while my mates went ahead to the next class.

I cried my eyes out at that realization especially because I wasn’t changing schools so it meant I had to face the humiliation of becoming a junior mate to most of my friends, I felt anger, resentment, dejection and all type of negative emotions but surprisingly all of those emotions formed together and drove me to decide that it was my life and I had a right to choose what to make of it. I wasn’t going to lay the blame on my parents neither was I going to hand over decision making to fate or to my friends, it was mine and I was going to make the best of it!

Fast forward to years later, I graduated from the university with my BSc in International Relations & Politics. I was truly proud of my achievements, but I still had no clue of what to do with it especially with my never die spirit of wanting to make my parent proud and showing them how successful I could be without being a doctor. And boom! I got posted to Lagos for my NYSC where I got offered a place with a marketing agency. At first, it was a strange place to be but as the days began to roll by I fell in love with my duties, I fell in love with every single day most especially the learning process, I became passionate about the work in fact almost too passionate about it. So I got retained on the job after completing my NYSC. I saw the opportunity to become something I had only dreamed of and I took it and ran with it.

And in 4 years, I rose above all my bitter emotions, rose above all my mates that were my senior mates when I had to repeat a class, I saw my life taking shape, I love the woman I have become and still becoming as a Marketing Communications professional, a daughter, a wife, friend to many and above all I made my parents proud (even though I lost my dad along the way) I know he is proud of my achievements.

What am I saying dear sisters? You will face some form of setback along your journey. Or might get to a crossroad where you have a completely different view from your parents/guardians/friends on how your life should be formed. Don’t see it as a conspiracy against you. Rather decide in your heart to achieve better, be better. Dream on, You can actually be anything you want to be as long as you have a dream, believe in it and work hard to see that dream being fulfilled.

Your future is so bright!

Lots of Love

Eniola

Happy New Year Guys!

2017 has rolled in with style and to be honest, I am super excited about this year. There is a positive vibe/buzz in the air, latch on to it.

During the holidays I was opportune to have a conversation with an old friend. While we talked about everything from sports, to food, US politics and even Rihanna-Drake-Jlo love story, we veered into personal development which has gradually become a favorite topic of mine. One message resonated with me from that conversation and I have gladly listed it among my goals for the year.

The message? Be Intentional

To be Intentional is to act purposefully with a goal in mind and a plan to accomplish it. Be Intentional in the brand you want to create. Ideas and products are not the only things that require branding and advertising. As an Individual, on a daily basis you create a brand for yourself. If you are already aware of this that is fine and already shows that you are a step ahead, the next question is, what are you doing about your brand? However, if you are not aware, it is key that you realize that you portray a brand every time you interact or communicate with others.

It’s never too early to start really shaping your brand. If at 17 your end game is to be a high flying executive in the corporate world. Your brand needs to align with your vision, what this means is that you have to begin to factor in having the academic qualifications needed for the role, identifying the industry you seek to carve a niche for yourself in, surrounding yourself with positive influences, finding a mentor and gaining the required work experiences required for the role.

By being intentional, you do not let life just happen to you. You actively begin to take steps to make sure that the vision you have for your self aligns with what your mindset and your body language speaks reflects.

If you are 15 and your vision is to be a social media influencer. What brand would you want to portray? How do you see yourself achieving this. Are you social media savvy? Do you have an audience for message?  Do you know how to independently run a social media page? These are some questions you need to sincerely answer and once you can answer the

What is your brand message? Grow it. If you do not like it, change it. However, remember, Random acts give you random results. So be intentional about 2017.

Lots of Love

Nkiru

Christmas is an amazing time of the year for me and I bet for a lot of you. There is so much to be thankful for, so much to be excited about. A time to reunite with loved ones and reminisce.

From all of us at the Big Sister Initiative, we wish you a merry Christmas and a prosperous year ahead. Happy Holidays.

I recall being bombarded by the use (and abuse) of the word “purpose” during my teenage years that, at the mention of the word, I will subconsciously roll my eyes because it felt abstract to me.

Fast forward to my current reality, I can tell you for free that not much will change in terms of the frequency of the message except that the word in itself would not be so abstract anymore. You will constantly be reminded by TED talks, motivational speeches from peers, parents, religious leaders and even social media. You will be questioned about your purpose and where you do not have a ready answer, you may feel a tinge of disappointment or panic.

(Exhale)

Just so we are clear, in my opinion, Purpose is the reason for your creation. It might be something very grand like Yuri Gagarin or may be something humbling, living so selflessly like Mother Teresa . One thing is certain, the things that excite you are not random, they are connected to your purpose. Follow them.

Some people have a head start by discovering their purpose early in life, while some others discover it much later in life. Unfortunately, some others end up living their lives with their purpose untapped.

In the midst of the craziness of our daily lives, it may be scary or even pose as a herculean task trying to discover the reason for your existence. Don’t get flustered, I have a couple of useful tips that can set you off on the journey to discovering your purpose:

Find your heroes

Who do you admire for their courage, achievements and qualities? Who inspires you? Once you discover them, study them. What do you like about them? For instance, there are three women I think very highly of. I have listened to almost every speech given and read almost every article written by two of them, Sheryl Sandberg and Arunma Oteh. I also like Beyoncé, a lot.

I realized that I like the leadership skills of Sheryl Sandberg. Sheryl is currently the Chief Operating Officer of Facebook. I think Arunma Oteh is an extremely smart and courageous executive, especially drawing references from her time as the Director General of the Nigerian Stock Exchange before she proceeded to be the Vice-President of the World Bank . And finally Beyoncé, she is resilient and is unstoppable when she sets her sights on anything.

Read, A lot!  Read! Read!! Read!!!

I know reading in itself sounds like a chore, but hey relax. Start with book on topics you like, Then progress to authors whose writing style you admire, with time you will catch on. Reading is my happy place, when I am bored or in need of company, I simply pick up a book. It improved my vocabulary and more importantly my outlook on life. A book has the power to completely change how you see the world. You are as powerful as the information you have. Two sure ways of improving the quality of information you have are: Reading and listening. This will be key in discovering your direction and vision.

Challenge the status quo.

I like to call it ‘think different”. One phrase that irks me the most in the work place is, “that is how we have always done it” especially when there is no clear explanation for the reason why a particular process is being adopted. Think different, see different. First, Don’t challenge processes blindly, understand the reasoning behind the process then find a better way. After all, there is always a better way.

What is your belief system:

A lot of your actions come from what you believe in and I am not referring to only your religious beliefs. What principles do you hold dear and what is the threshold for some of your actions and inactions. Your belief system is so important that it has the ability to determine your risk appetite.

I should add here that, if any of the tips listed above do not help with pointing you in the direction of your purpose, Do not fret. Keep an open mind in discovering what works for you.

Execute! Execute!! Execute!!!

There is no point buying the best materials or hiring the best engineers, if no one actually starts the construction of a building. A plan remains only a plan if it is not implemented. So also is your purpose only going to remain abstract if you do not actively take steps to bring it to a reality in your life. It will require hard work.

Surround yourself with excellence, After all, you are the sum of the 5people you spend the most time with. Find Lifters. It is also important that you get feedback. Keep working on yourself. Keep what works for you, do away with what doesn’t .Build up on your skills. Find the gaps you need to work on and build your skills. Measure your progress, that way you appreciate your journey a lot more and won’t be so hard on yourself.

I hope you enjoyed this write up.

Lots of Love

Back in my teenage years, one of my overused catch phrases was, “I can’t wait to…” My top favorites were, ‘I can’t wait to be an adult, I can’t wait to start making money, I can’t wait to start receiving a salary or I can’t wait to just decide for myself. Usually the catch phrase ended up with, “after all, It’s my life”.

So I did something about it or so I thought at the time, I studied so hard for my SSCE -Senior School Leaving Exams- to make sure I wouldn’t flunk out of anything, then applied to schools very far away from home. I finally got admitted to a University that was in an entirely different region from where my parents lived at the time, about 10 hours trip by road and an hour by flight.

Imagine my joy at 15, boarding the luxurious bus to Abuja and waving goodbye to my parents. I was set to start the next phase of my life in the University, making adult decisions.

Or so I thought.

Of course a large part of me missed my family terribly but I was too excited about the opportunity of finally taking decisions about my life and finally being a grown-up. Not decisions of where to spend summer camp or how to spend my pocket money but decisions around opting to make a certain “rocking” hairstyle, sleeping over at a friend’s house without my parents calling in to check on her and her parents or doing a mini-profile search on my friends. The thought of not being forced to wear a uniform from 8am to 4pm everyday made me giddy with excitement. Oh yes!

Guess what? I did have sleep overs at my girlfriends’ houses, I didn’t have to wear a uniform every day, I did get to spend my money and not be accountable for every dime but guess what, I learnt independence and responsibility during the course of the journey.

While I didn’t have to be accountable to my parents for the details of how my money was spent, I had to learn to be accountable to myself because I had the option of spending my entire pocket money in a week and remain miserably broke (there was no way my parents will hear of reckless spending) or learning to live with a budget. Looking back at those times now, I realize that those decisions I felt were big accomplishments are nothing of significance today. During my teenage years, it became important to acknowledge that independence comes with a dose of responsibilities and a larger dose of honesty with oneself. A few months after I got into the University, after a couple of poor grades (which was a huge shock for me, because I was always the one of the best students in class before I got into the University) and petty squabbles with friends. I had to focus. I decided to self-improve and grew a lot more interested in studying and developing myself, which was the actual reason why I was in the University.

And the result? I got a lot better.

And guess what I realized? You never really stop getting instructions and you have always been giving instructions, regardless of how old you are.

I will explain.

As a young adult, I still receive instructions from my parents, my bosses, the government, myself and my God. You never really stop receiving instructions, however your capacity to interpret and apply those decisions in your life become deepened and you also become more aware of the resultant effect of the instructions you give because every cause has its resultant effect.

So what am I saying dear younger sister, Enjoy each moment and every stage of life you find yourself in. Do not be so quick to be an adult, especially when you are prompted for the wrong reasons. Decide for yourself what really matters to you, stay true to yourself. And in many instances, your parents are not always wrong like we are quick to assume during our teen years, most times they are only looking out for you in the best way they know how to.

I will love to hear from you.

Lots of Love ,

Nkiru

*Images gotten from Google